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Archive for August 7th, 2008

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Sometimes it is hard for people to believe that if they would ‘simply love’, and ‘love simply’ things would be much different in their relationships.  You have heard it said, “you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself”  I take issue with that statement, because at the root of it is “self”.  I don’t know about you, but as a parent, I learned quickly, when you have a baby, that your time is no longer your own, and you become a servant, a person who’s full attention is on other peoples needs but your own.  Those parents who are our “toxic” variety all have one thing in common: they are selfish! Look closely next time.  What is going on when you see on the news about a parent who is getting children taken away… They are so into their own life, they should not have had kids in the first place.  So, If you ask me, if you want to love with real love, you need to empty yourself of your pride, and selfishness, and be a giver, a servant, hospitable and kind.  Old fashioned concept? Sure, but  we are still people who have the same needs as always, children have the same needs.  Have you ever stopped and thought about what was at the very bottom of your last fight?  Was it selfishness on either part? I can’t imagine it not being. If you do as it says in Philippians, (I’m paraphrasing) esteem each other higher than yourselves, or try to outdo one another in kindnesses. You will be shocked how amazingly happy your relationships will be!  You see, God wants to teach us about His character, we can’t out-give Him He is so generous and kind, but if we are so worried about what we have, keeping what we have, “what am I going to get out of it” we miss the real blessings.

It isn’t a song until it’s sung
It isn’t a bell until it’s rung
It isn’t Love until it is given away!

What is Love? Here is the definition:

1Cr 13:4       Love is patient, love is kind {and} is not jealous; love does not brag {and} is not arrogant,
1Cr 13:5       does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong {suffered,}
1Cr 13:6       does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
1Cr 13:7       bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1Cr 13:8       Love never fails

Is it simple to love simply and simply love? If you are not self centered it is, if you are following God’s plan for your life it is easier… God is the embodiment and the essence of Love. It stands to reason that with him at the helm, you can certainly break the cycle of toxic parenting. Until next time… Love simply.

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