Pressure, Stress, Expectations… add emotions and fears, and you have a recipe for explosive confrontation. If you and your spouse are in the same place,(stress wise )it intensifies the power of that explosion. First, I have to say by way of reminder, you are each others best advocate and cheerleader. If you haven’t become that for your spouse, it is high time you did.
Proverbs 18:14-22 The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, But {as for} a broken spirit who can bear it?
The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
A man’s gift makes room for him And brings him before great men.
The first to plead his case {seems} right, {Until} another comes and examines him.
The {cast} lot puts an end to strife And decides between the mighty ones.
A brother offended {is harder to be won} than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.
With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; He will be satisfied
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.
If you are tearing each other down because of your own stress, insecurities and fears, chances are very good you will break the spirit of the other. Take a moment to BREATHE I am speaking figuratively here, but take a deep breath too. Take care of those things you can, know that the rest will be there, and will work out. As you see in the Proverbs I share with you here, a person can endure sickness, but not a broken spirit. So… Lift each other up, pray together. Have you ever actually Prayed Together? Out loud? Show how much you love each other, it will all turn out fine. The mind of the prudent gets knowledge, and wise men seek advice from people who know better than themselves. Seek counsel from a financial counselor, pastor, marriage counselor, etc. The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him. In other words, don’t jump to conclusions, always listen to all the facts, and both sides of the story before you make any determinations about a matter. A brother offended is like a strong city, or (a fortified city) contentions like the bars of a citadel. Let’s look at that picture a minute, if you offend him/her, basically the walls go up. It is hard to break down those walls, or break into that bastion of personal security (the citadel). The citadel was a stronghold in a walled city, think about the movie ‘The Two Towers’ in the Lord of The Rings trilogy, there is a great example of this. The Rohirrim under King Théoden, who had taken refuge in the mountain fortress of the Hornburg at Helm’s Deep. The King commanded his people to be taken into the depths of the city, into the citadel of the city, and when it got really intense, into the ‘keep’ I apologize if this example is a bit “geeky” but what a mental picture of what happens to us when we are offended. We draw back into our very own place of fortification against future hurt. We harden our hearts, we even give up entirely. I have done this before, hardened my heart to any more hurt or future offense. It is a tragic state, you are a prisoner of your own false security. It takes losing your life to find it- Luke 17:33 ‘Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.’
Death and life are in the power of the tongue… I won’t belabor this one here as I wrote a whole blog on the subject earlier. However, since it goes with our subject, and prefaces the next verse, I will say this, Is your tongue full of poison or honey. Are you breaking the spirit, or uplifting? Are you offending your partner or being their greatest advocate? Are you inside the Citadel, protecting your broken spirit? Have you given up?
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD. You need to believe this husband, You need to live this wife. Be For Each Other!
“They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other”
(Steven Stills)
Brokencycle's Blog 