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James3:

Jam 3:3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
Jam 3:4 Behold also the ships, which though [they be] so great, and [are] driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
Jam 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
Jam 3:6 And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

In the above text, the tongue is mentioned as being a small but powerful instrument, either to bless, or to curse. We can either “build our house, or tear it down” as in the last blog, The Wise Woman.  When I look back on the people who influenced me the most in my life, it is a truth, and sad, but the most dominent voice was that of destruction of character.  There were those cheerleaders who believed in me along the way, and later in my adulthood, and healing, came shining through. If you are on the inside, meaning you are one who is in need of healing, try to think about those cheerleaders you had along the way. Now, multiply that by an infinite number, and know that Jesus is your biggest advocate. I know, Iknow- you don’t have to tell me, it is really hard for you to grasp that, because you have a very low self worth. Do you do extra to try (not consciously) prove you are worth something? Do you need peoples approval?  Are you an over achiever- volunteer for everything?  You have that person who rejected you to thank for that.  But you don’t have anything to PROVE at all. This is a process though, and nobody can just tell you to stop being the way you are, thinking the way you do, or processing things through the filter you have grown up with all your life.

Choice is what starts the process, you have to choose to forgive the ones who by their tongue, tore you to ribbons and left you a mess. Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you(15) But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. This scripture weighed heavily upon my heart and decision that I could not live my life without forgiving those who hurt me.  Choose to become whole, and be a better person for your own children.  Choose your words wisely, thinking about the outcome- the big picture if you will.  Am I building this person up, or tearing them down? Is this comment necessary for their well being or is it because I want to say something “cute” or funny. Embarrassing your children in front of people by the way, may be funny to you, but it will cause a wall to go up in your relationship.

The tongue can be a poisonous dagger, poised and ready to sting and paralyze at a moments notice, or it can be a soothing balm to a needy soul.   Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  Wisdom and kindness will bring your children to you in your old age. If you have a record of being a woman of paralyzing meanspiritedness, you will live out your old age cranky and alone, wondering why nobody calls.   I have a saying, ‘ There are two types of women in the world- Toxic, and non-toxic’ .  It is a choice we make, our tongue is something we alone can control, we have nobody but ourselves to blame, so with Gods help, let’s continue to heal, make the right choices, think about those who cheer us on, Especially our great advocate, Jesus, who will never leave us, nor forsake us.

* Blueletterbible.com source

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